A Dream Within a Dream

Came across this piece yesterday, after a long time...

 

 

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow --
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand --
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep -- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?.

    -- Edgar Allan Poe

FUD [Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt]

Don't wanna be here
Somewhere I'd rather be
But when I get there
I might find it's not for me

Don't know what I want
or where I want to be
Feeling more confused
The more the days go by

-Different World /Iron Maiden

 

These lines seem to make a lot of sense to me these days. It has been a long time since I last felt this way. These days, I fear of what the future holds for me; I doubt if I will be able to fulfill my life-long dreams, and I am uncertain about what I will do with my life five to ten years from now.

I have read countless quotes telling me that worrying does not solve anything. I have more often than not received comments from chafed friends, who think I might be over-reacting with too many thoughts in my head. And there have been moments where I find myself thinking if worrying and over-thinking ever helped anyone. And then I realize about the element of truth in a quote I found recently: 

Don’t tell me that worry doesn’t do any good. I know better; the things I worry about don’t happen.

 

I am plagued about fears of my future. I do not have a battle plan ready, and this scares the living heck out of me. It is not the present that scares me; on the contrary, the present is going on quite smoothly for me. But I have morbid fears about losing track of my goals, and my plans, as I am basking in the warmth of the present.

I wonder if there will ever be a time when I will feel secure, and confident about the course that my life is taking. As Iron Maiden sings, I feel even more confused as the days go by.