Impasse

Long time no see for this blog (or any one of my other blogs, to be frank). Supposed to do this study thing for an exam tomorrow, but like always, distractions run amok when you have got something to finish. And as if at the worst moment ever, I come across this guy's blog. Page after page of misery, loathing (sometimes for the self, sometimes for others), talking about fun times, talking about sad times. And I can't stop reading his blog; if anything else, that shitpiece reminds me of myself not very long ago. That friggin' thing called "relating to something"....arrrgh

:)

Earth, fire, wind and sky
Nothing makes me feel as high
As when the light shines through
And all I can see is you

As I see you, in front of me
Feel happy, for now, I can be free
My breath grows, the heart skips a beat
Voila! the ground is no longer under my feet



I reach out, to hold you in my arm
Keep you cozy, far away from harm
The world can go it's own way
Watching you sleep, wishing I could make time stay

Day Three: Resurrected

Alienated feelings
And haunting of the mind
Rage, Hate, contemplations
And a lot of things
you wished you could find

Things that hurt
That you long to forget,
only if you could
And things that serrate the heart
With words that feel anything but good

Help me look more clearly
Help me find the way once again
Cause When it is yourself,
you need to quell
Even heaven around you,feels like hell

A Simple Test

...to find if you hate someone's guts or not.

The next time that person tells you he/she has gotten something better out of their daily existence, maybe out of good luck, or maybe because of hard work, just detach yourself from your body, and watch what remark you give to that person. If it's a nice impressed smile, and words of congratulations that you really mean, chances are you're putting yourself in his/her position, and feeling happy for the person.

However, if it's just a nod, or a smile (forced, maybe), and "congratulations!!!", well, there you have it. You hate that person, or are in the process of hating him/her.

A midnight walk in the city

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Friends

Came across this nice piece today:

I believe in angels
The kind that heaven sends
I am surrounded by angels,
But I call them friends

I miss being with my friends......

Voices

Like everyone around me

I have two sides

Two voices, two souls

One that supports, one that chides

One voice that tells me to keep fighting no matter what

The other voice, I just turn a deaf ear to!

...of mice and men

 

I plan...I anticipate....

I believe in things

I try my best to drag myself closer to those dreams

But can't help think there's someone somewhere

Who can't help but laugh at those plans

The impasse...the weather

It's like the air has stopped moving. No wind, whatsoever. True, the sun is now behind the clouds, but then again, the absence of the wind makes the weather so damn vapid.

There were some pleasant drafts some time ago. But that was when the sun was at it's peak.

Seems like there's no choosing the pleasant wind, without the scorching sun.

That's strange. The weather shouldn't bother me.

The much prognosticated explosion....is still not here. Wondering how long i'll have to wait. Of course, it's always best if there was NO explosion whatsoever. But seems making reality out of dreams is what's causing this situation, to start with.

To hell with the fears.

Zindagi Ke Safar Me....

Artwork courtesy of: Wordle

Voices

These haunting voices

Keep playing in my mind

They hurt.

They ache.

But what hurts more than the voices,

is the silence !!!

Farewell, my angel

Now that you have to leave,
Now that you need to go
I sit here smiling as always,
Just a few things I want you to know

With the blossoming of the flowers,
And morning skies, ever so red
I was caught in a maze of illusions,
And all my hopes were dead

And then came a day, when an angel appeared
From the sky, clear and blue
And I learned to live, I learned to love
I learnt so much from you

Now that you have to leave,
Into a world open and free
Just remember me, when you feel lonely
My angel, farewell to thee

 

:)

Keep Thinking

Stop!
Think!!
Think twice
Think of what you've done
Think about what you can do
Think of all repercussions
Think of all the ways you can make things good
Think of the ways, you can mess things up
...
...
Now look back at all your thoughts
And you will find
None of them matter a bit
For what you want to be,
You will be

Vanity Fair

People keep telling us not to be vain. How vanity affects us and all that. But one thing I've noticed, is how vanity gets us all at some point in life. No matter how "unvain" you think you are, there are always times when you need to act vain, just in hopes of appearing a little more "perfect" to others.

I know. I can be pretty vain at times. Hell, if I had to judge myself, I might even call myself the most vain person I've known.

But this is not about me. This is about those people that I hope to learn about modesty from. Just when you think a person is so modest, so much of an epitome of perfection, who never needs to be vain just to prove him/herself, the veils of pretense have to fall. Thus revealing someone who, in reality, turns out to be more vain than anyone you have ever known.

Needless to say, the world seems to be nothing more than a vanity fair. And our role, simply nothing more than surpassing the amount of vanity that was never expected from us.

Vernacular Nonsense?

Before the dawn, I missed the light
All I wanted to see, was out of sight
I craved to see the day,
To see things go my way

Nothing seems the way it should,
No one to help, even if they could
Loss of hope and dreams of desire,
And memories of a burnt out fire

I scream, and I shout
I plead for them to let me out
But my words, all lost in vain
While I sit here, all alone in the rain

Angel

Pretty little angel, who's lost her wings
Fallen little angel, who longs to sing
Sing about the darkness,
Where only you can see
Sing about your troubles,
Let your heart be free

The world don't care about you now,
They just see you smile
Killed the innocence inside you,
Suppressed your inner child
Let the child be free now, Let your inner self out
The world can stay waiting,
It's time to hear you shout

A Dream Within a Dream

Came across this piece yesterday, after a long time...

 

 

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow --
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand --
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep -- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?.

    -- Edgar Allan Poe

FUD [Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt]

Don't wanna be here
Somewhere I'd rather be
But when I get there
I might find it's not for me

Don't know what I want
or where I want to be
Feeling more confused
The more the days go by

-Different World /Iron Maiden

 

These lines seem to make a lot of sense to me these days. It has been a long time since I last felt this way. These days, I fear of what the future holds for me; I doubt if I will be able to fulfill my life-long dreams, and I am uncertain about what I will do with my life five to ten years from now.

I have read countless quotes telling me that worrying does not solve anything. I have more often than not received comments from chafed friends, who think I might be over-reacting with too many thoughts in my head. And there have been moments where I find myself thinking if worrying and over-thinking ever helped anyone. And then I realize about the element of truth in a quote I found recently: 

Don’t tell me that worry doesn’t do any good. I know better; the things I worry about don’t happen.

 

I am plagued about fears of my future. I do not have a battle plan ready, and this scares the living heck out of me. It is not the present that scares me; on the contrary, the present is going on quite smoothly for me. But I have morbid fears about losing track of my goals, and my plans, as I am basking in the warmth of the present.

I wonder if there will ever be a time when I will feel secure, and confident about the course that my life is taking. As Iron Maiden sings, I feel even more confused as the days go by.

......

Close my eyes
I see that face
Can't get myself
to stop thinking of her ways

Close my eyes
I see that smile
That has been enchanting me
All this while

I know not what to do
I know not what to say
And so I stay here waiting
Day after day

Short poetic musings

Poems? Haiku? Ramblings???


The search

In the crowd
My eyes constantly search for a familiar face
A face I like to see happy,
A face I like to see bright,
The face
That I like most of all.


The cause

All this killing,
All this dying,
All this commotion for the dead and the undead
Makes me wonder
Is it really worth it?


The end

They say all good things must come to an end
If that be the case
I will acquiesce to missing someone as a good thing.